October 25, 2011

By Nurmi Husa

Early this afternoon, in a carefully coordinated series of simultaneous assaults, hundreds of police officers raided the corporate headquarters of Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Citibank and several other large banks and arrested all the top management.

According to multiple sources the NYPD threw cans of tear gas cleverly disguised as Grey Poupon jars into executive dining rooms, surprising the banksters at lunch. Sources claim that the police quickly subdued the dumbfounded executives, ziptied their hands behind their backs and dragged them out to waiting paddy wagons by lapels, ties, shoelaces and in a number of instances, by thumbs and even ears.

Occupy Wall Street protestors in Zuccotti Park watched the operation in utter amazement. Several fainted out of sheer excitement and had to be revived by EMTs on hand.

From the Occupy Wall Street Twitter feed:

“The NYPD isn’t coming after OWS for a change!” noted blogger and usually stay-at-home dad, Justinian Nosario, who by chance had been bringing protestors a vat of homemade gluten-free jelly donuts at the time of the raid. “This is going to blow up the blogosphere. It’s a game-changer.”

Free Wood Post.

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