Posts Tagged Sport
David Duval Still Shilling Nike Golf Products Years After Contract Runs Out | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on June 29, 2012
David Duval Still Shilling Nike Golf Products Years After Contract Runs Out
CHERRY HILLS VILLAGE, CO—Even though his sponsorship deal with Nike expired more than eight years ago, former world No. 1 golfer David Duval is still appearing on courses and in stores actively promoting the brand’s products to anyone who will listen, sources confirmed Thursday. “He’s in here about twice a week putting a Nike VR Pro driver in somebody’s hands and asking them to take a few swings,” said local Sports Authority manager Aaron Camacho, adding that Duval hangs around the store’s golf aisles in his full Nike gear for hours at a time. “We’ve thought about kicking him out, but he’s used and read about these products more than any of us on staff, and to tell you the truth, he’s purchased more of our Nike stuff than any other customer.” Though Nike officials have reportedly thanked Duval for his loyalty and sent him free products in an effort to persuade him to disassociate himself from the company, he continues to be seen in public wearing a threadbare Nike shirt adorned with the brand’s patch honoring the victims of 9/11.
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On No Competitive Americans In The Tour De France | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source | American Voices
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on June 29, 2012
On No Competitive Americans In The Tour De France
JUNE 29, 2012
And they say you never forget how.
No, no, it says here there’s a 5-foot-6 guy named Levi Leipheimer. He sounds like a serious athlete.
It’s about time we stopped urinating on the grave of Henry Ford.
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Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son’s Bully | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on June 26, 2012
Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son’s Bully
CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Mike Zerbe, 39, father of bullied son Timmy Zerbe, 8, expressed avid interest in the fighting stance and other qualities of 9-year-old playground tormentor Josh Kalish.
“Wow, sounds like this kid is pretty beefy,” Zerbe said upon hearing how Kalish rubbed his shy, undersized son’s face repeatedly into the mud and forced him to say “I’m a gay girl” in front of several of his peers. “Bet he’s got a good punch for someone his age, too. Bam! Probably a linebacker on that Pop Warner team your mom won’t let me sign you up for, huh?”
Immediately after hearing the story of the bully’s attack from his tearful son, Zerbe phoned Kalish’s father to demand that the two meet to discuss the situation over a game of pool at a local tavern.
Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son’s Bully | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.
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- Report: Baseball Favorite Sport Of Many Detroit Tigers Players | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source (mbcalyn.com)
Report: Baseball Favorite Sport Of Many Detroit Tigers Players | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on June 23, 2012
Report: Baseball Favorite Sport Of Many Detroit Tigers Players
DETROIT—Though their differing ages, nationalities, and backgrounds would suggest a greater divergence of opinions on the world of athletics, most Detroit Tigers players say baseball is their favorite sport, clubhouse sources reported Saturday. “We’re all into sports around here, but I would say we talk more about baseball than anything else,” said Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, adding that he and his teammates follow baseball “pretty closely.” “I liked a lot of different stuff when I was younger, but since leaving college and starting a busy career, I’ve found I’m paying more attention to baseball than other sports.” Though many of the team’s players are high-powered millionaires, sources said most decorate their lockers with simple bats, balls, and other types of baseball souvenirs, and wear baseball paraphernalia while they are working.
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