Posts Tagged Race and ethnicity in the United States Census
Nothing Says Native American Heritage Like White Girls In Headdresses | Alternet
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Opinion, Perspective on December 14, 2012
Nothing Says Native American Heritage Like White Girls In Headdresses
Maybe it’s totally cool to be an oblivious racist these days. Whatever the case, there have been unusually high rates of “playing Indian” this year.
December 11, 2012

Gwen Stefani in No Doubt’s “Looking Hot” video. Via theinsider.com
There is something insidiously ironic about being American Indian during the fall of the 21st century. It all starts with Columbus Day to mark our “discovery,” then moves right into the “it’s totally not racist to dress up as a hypersexualized Indian” for Halloween parties, and goes out with a bang on Thanksgiving when we celebrate the survival of the Pilgrims and that harmonious, mutually beneficial relationship forged between colonizers and Indigenous peoples everywhere! However romanticized or factually inaccurate, these holidays happen to be the three days when Native peoples actually enter the mass psyche of American culture.
I don’t know about you, but I usually spend the autumn months parading around in my Navajo Hipster panties, feather headdress (on loan from model Karlie Kloss and singer Gwen Stefani), Manifest Destiny T-Shirt and knee-high fringed moccasins made in Taiwan while watching a Redskins game, smoking a pack of American Spirits, and eating genetically modified Butter Ball turkey, because I’m just that traditional.
Perhaps it was that warm Indian summer weather that seemingly made non-natives so eager to sport culturally demeaning faux Indian apparel and legitimize it under the guise of “ignorance” or “appreciation.” Maybe it’s totally cool to be an oblivious racist these days. Whatever the case, there have been unusually high rates of “playing Indian” this year.
A lot of the recent coverage and commentary on cultural appropriation has emphasized the lack of education surrounding Native history and a greater need for sensitivity toward Native culture. While I certainly agree that invisibility continues to shroud Native issues and that there is a tremendous lack of education when it comes to the history of America’s Indigenous peoples, I think that the issue of why these circumstances exist is often overlooked. Why are Americans so clueless when it comes to the history and contemporary reality of Native peoples? What is it about this particular narrative that threatens the collective American psyche?
To be honest, while angered and outraged, I am not shocked about the most recent occurrences of Native cultural appropriation and denigration. Racism, dehumanization, and intellectual-property theft are not new to Native Americans. We have been confronting them in some form or another beginning with the Doctrine of Discovery and the arrival of Columbus in 1492. Imperialism and the genocide of Indigenous people have been justified under the premise of progress and growth and in the process our lands, cultures, and bodies have all been portrayed as inherently violable.
The sexual conquest and deliberate dehumanization of Native women has been used as a colonizing tactic for centuries. Sexual violence perpetrated against Native women was a strategy of domination used in the Indian Wars and as we can see, this type of mentality of domination persists today. Native women, stripped of their humanity, are still objectified as a sexual fetish or exotic other. In fact, these kind of derogatory stereotypes have become a fixture of both American mythology and pop culture. What is different today is that, in the digital age of Instagram and Twitter, you can see a picture of Karlie Kloss donning a feather headdress on your iPhone the moment she starts strutting the runway.
Recent acts of cultural appropriation do not occur in a vacuum and should not be viewed as isolated instances separate from their social and historic contexts. It is far more complex than hipsters in Navajo panties and pop stars in headdresses. These contemporary instances of cultural appropriation and stereotypes are really byproducts of ongoing colonialism, systemic racism, and the deliberately false narratives perpetuated about Native peoples by white society. Cultural commodification and dehumanized stereotypes extended far beyond any single corporation, retail franchise, or celebrity.
Despite what dominant society and mainstream media say, Native culture is a vibrant and living culture. We are not a relic of the past, a theme or a trend; we are not a style or costume; we are not mascots, noble savages or romantic fictional entities. We are human beings and, despite all odds, we have survived. As sovereign Nations, Indigenous peoples have the right to speak for ourselves and not have dominant Euro-American society project and profit from an artificial and socially constructed image of “Indian” identity.
November has been declared Native American Heritage month, and I think next year would be an opportune time for corporate executives and members of the fashion and music industries to come visit Indian country and actually meet some of the people they are attempting to mimic. There are 565 federally recognized tribes in the United States, each with their own distinct culture, language, and history, and each with multitude of artists who could teach them a lot about beauty and dignity. Gwen, Karlie, Ke$ha and all you other culture vultures, maybe you should leave your synthetic headdresses at home. And by the way, I am sorry if any of you are offended by me calling you out for being offensive.
Nothing Says Native American Heritage Like White Girls In Headdresses | Alternet.
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Remaking The Republican Party | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on December 9, 2012
Remaking The Republican Party
Mitt Romney’s poor performance among minority voters, single women, and young people has led many top Republicans to call for an overhaul of the party’s image. Here are some options the GOP is considering to extend its appeal:
· Start nominating hipper, more relatable 65-year-old men
· Begin rolling the R’s in “deportation” and “border fence”
· A bunch of abortions and stuff—whatever the gals want
· Change nothing and wait for rest of country to come to its senses
· Project youthful vibe by requiring Republican congressmen to walk around Capitol doing yo-yo tricks
· Change party mascot to a Hispanic elephant
· Start one of those Twitter hashtags
· Eh, fuck it—just disenfranchise as many people as possible

Remaking The Republican Party | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.
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Romney Privately Wondering How In The Name Of Fuck He’s Going To Appeal To Asian Voters | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on September 3, 2012
Romney Privately Wondering How In The Name Of Fuck He’s Going To Appeal To Asian Voters

MOLINE, IL—Mitt Romney privately wondered this week just how in the name of living fuck he’s supposed to appeal to Asian voters, sources close to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee confirmed. “I have to get 40% of these people? I don’t even know how to court one Asian, let alone five million Asians,” muttered the former Massachusetts Governor, adding that he couldn’t think of an Asian on the entire fucking planet that would look at him and think, “I want to vote for that guy.” “This is going to be a goddamn disaster. I have a hard enough time appealing to white women, let alone Asians. Asian, for Christ’s sake.” Recent reports indicate that Romney has decided to start walking around in a silk robe he found in his closet and see if that does anything for him.![]()
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Free Wood Post – Romney on the Latino Vote: “Latinos Can Vote?”
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Free Wood Post, Humor/Parody on July 15, 2012
Romney on the Latino Vote: “Latinos Can Vote?”

Mitt Romney’s hardline stance on immigration has left supporters concerned that he is in danger of losing the highly coveted Latino vote in the upcoming presidential election. When questioned on the issue, however, Romney appeared unconcerned by the potential ramifications of alienating Latino voters.
“I’m sorry, what are you asking?” Romney responded to a reporter at a recent fundraiser in Sioux City, IA. “The Latino vote? What is that?”
The reporter attempted to clarify her question and was interrupted by the presumed GOP presidential nominee.
“Latinos can’t vote, can they?” Romney asked. “I mean, don’t you have to be a US Citizen to vote? I strongly believe that illegals should not be given voting rights,” he said firmly.
“I also stick by whatever it is I may have just said,” Romney added.
When pressed on the issue during an interview later that week with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Romney did begin to backpedal slightly.
“Latinos can vote? Really?” he asked incredulously. “I’m surprised by this. I mean, I’m just saying, my lawn guys wouldn’t even take a check,” he said, referring to an investigation by the Boston Globe in 2006 which found that Romney had employed a lawn care company that regularly hired illegal immigrants.
The candidate then paused, listening intently as an aide whispered in his ear. The aide’s comments were not picked up by Romney’s lapel microphone, but Romney himself could be heard murmuring, “So there are legal Latinos? In America? Ok…ok…Fine.”
“This interview is over,” he told Wolf Blitzer, then turned to the camera.
“Vota por Romney!” he said with a wide smile. “Me encanta los latinos.”
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White Family Moves To Town | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted by Michael B. Calyn in Humor/Parody, The Onion on June 29, 2012
White Family Moves To Town
GLENCOE, IL—Shock, outrage and fear were just some of the emotions that failed to sweep through this affluent Chicago suburb Monday, when word got out among residents that a white family had moved to town over the weekend.
The Hansons, who recently moved to the white suburb of Glencoe, IL.
Challenging none of the close-knit community’s long-held beliefs and traditions, maxillofacial surgeon Bill Hanson, his wife Marge, and children Kevin and Sue are the first Caucasians to relocate to Glencoe in more than two days.
“I’ll admit, I was concerned at first,” said longtime Glencoe resident and neighborhood-watch president Linda Brubaker, 50. “I thought, how will having a white family move here affect property values? Then I realized it wouldn’t at all.”
“After all,” Brubaker added, “once I looked beneath the surface, I realized that this new family of white people isn’t really so different from my own white family. Come to think of it, they’re pretty much the same on the surface, as well.”
Brubaker wasn’t the only local to have concerns. Many openly questioned the Hansons’ ability to fit in. But their trepidation vanished upon seeing that the Hansons were much like, if not exactly like, themselves, regardless of—indeed, because of—the color of their skin.
“You know what they say about white people,” insurance agent Jack Lundegard said. “They drive sensible cars, they bake things, they’re always noodling about doing yardwork—all those stereotypes. But then I took a look at the man in the mirror, and I realized, ‘Hey, I’m not so unlike that myself.’”
Area investment banker Harold Boyce agreed: “I’ve got nothing against whites. Some of my best friends are white,” Boyce said. “Actually, I guess they all are.”
Although Bill and Marge Hanson privately harbored doubts about the move, they quickly discovered that the nearly identical sociocultural background they shared with the people of Glencoe proved not to be a handicap, but an asset, allowing them to offer something familiar to their unfamiliar new neighbors.
The Schukals, who say they have “no worries” about living next door to the Hansons.
“I did have some fears about the kids’ ability to blend in and make friends with the other kids at their new school,” Marge said. “But luckily, their classmates were very open-minded about meeting new people of the same race. In no time at all, their peers accepted them as white kids just like themselves.”
Though 10-year-old Kevin came from a different white neighborhood than his new classmates, he was soon invited to join the Glencoe junior soccer league. The experience has turned out to be enriching for all involved, giving Kevin and his fellow white children the opportunity to work together as a team, regardless of their lack of differences.
Thirteen-year-old Sue had a harder time adjusting. The day she arrived in Glencoe, she cried for hours, saying she missed her white friends back in Bloomfield Hills, MI. But within a few days, she began to adjust.
“I think it’s helped Sue to be around other white kids,” said Dana Berner, leader of Sue’s new Girl Scout troop. “Moving is never easy, but it’s lots easier when the new people are just like you.”
The children’s teachers say they are already fitting in at school and doing just as well, socially and academically, as their new white peers. “I think having strong white role models in their surroundings has helped foster a sense of belonging,” said Glencoe Middle School guidance counselor Tom Luchs. “I can identify with them, coming from a white background myself.”
Perhaps the situation was best summarized by the Hansons’ new next-door neighbor, Peggy Schukal, who has become fast friends with the Hansons despite their racial similarities.
“When I heard who would be moving next door, I thought to myself, ‘Hanson? Isn’t that a Swedish name?’ It sounded sort of Scandinavian to me,” Schukal said. “But now I know that there’s no reason to judge people by such arbitrary categories. To me, the Hansons, and for that matter everyone living here in Glencoe, are more than just German-Americans, Anglo-Americans, Italian-Americans, or even Swedish-Americans. What’s important is to see past all that and realize that, deep down, we’re all just white Americans.”
Schukal admitted that she was initially rattled by the notion that her 11-year-old daughter Sandra could one day end up dating the Hansons’ son. But upon realizing that Kevin is a well-behaved, college-bound young man from a well-to-do family, her fears vanished.
“We here in Glencoe are very open about including all different types in our community,” said Fred Schukal, a dentist and Bill Hanson’s new golf partner. “To be honest, it really doesn’t matter to us what part of Europe you’re originally from. As the Hansons’ experience here shows, there’s room in Glencoe for every shade of Caucasian in God’s white rainbow.”
Community leaders are pleased that the Hansons’ arrival has been trouble-free.
“I’m both pleased and relieved to say that having this new white family in town, at least so far, hasn’t caused a single problem,” Glencoe police chief Wayne Girardeau said. “Glencoe can be proudly held up as a model to other suburban communities across America that would like to integrate more whites, but are afraid it wouldn’t work out.”![]()
White Family Moves To Town | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.
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