Posts Tagged Donald Trump
Wayne LaPierre’s call to arm our educators reveals how detached from reality the NRA truly is
It’s not like I had any illusions that anything NRA executive vice-president and talking-head-in-chief Wayne LaPierre would say on Friday morning, one week after the deadly shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary that killed 20 children, to transform me from a crunchy liberal pacifist into some bigtime assault weapons fangirl. But I still didn’t expect to be as horrified by his ludicrous words as I was. I didn’t expect to be as chilled to the bone by his utterly inevitable suggestion that the solution to our national gun problem is more guns – nice and close to our kids. “With all the foreign aid, with all the money in the federal budget, we can’t afford to put a police officer in every school?” LaPierre said. “I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put armed police officers in every school — and to do it now, to make sure that blanket of safety is in place when our children return to school in January.”
Frankly, I haven’t heard a stupider idea since Donald Trump offered Obama . But let’s put aside the ridiculous impracticality of implementing LaPierre’s proposal to deploy a veritable army of gun-toting guards into every school in America to “blanket” our children. Let’s just address the philosophical horse crap of it.
I have two children in two different schools. Both of them have security teams that do an excellent job in screening the people who walk through the doors, but realistically probably couldn’t stop a very determined and heavily armed maniac — or two, like the murderous duos at Columbine or . So I send my daughters off every morning with the hope that they will be safe in their care of their teachers and their classmates until they return home at the end of the day. I do the same thing every time they cross the street or ride a bike or get on an airplane. It’s the accepted risk of living.
Yet LaPierre, with his astonishing lack of comprehension of anything to do with the way childhood, education, or life works, insisted Friday, “We care about our money, so we protect our banks with armed guards. American airports, office buildings, power plants, court houses, even sports stadiums are all protected by armed security.” Does he get that a school is not a bank or an airport? Does he realize that a highly charged environment, where the possibility of violence is always present, is not conducive to trust or learning or building empathetic, mentally healthy individuals? I’m guessing nah.
LaPierre then went on to – shocker – blame the media, railing against the “callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people” with “blood-soaked films out there, like ‘American Psycho,’ ‘Natural Born Killers…’ Rather than face their own moral failings the media demonize lawful gun owners.” Aside from the fact that poor LaPierre evidently hasn’t been to the movies in at least a dozen years, he seems to have forgotten that “American Psycho” is not a movie about gun violence. He might want to leave the controversy over that one to the National Chainsaw Murderers Association.
But where he really got rolling was in his call to “be personally involved and invested in a plan of absolute protection,” because “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” Holy crap. Really? The only way? Then I guess the entire legal system is meaningless. Can’t stop bad guys with, I don’t know, laws. “Why is the idea of a gun good when it’s used to protect the president of our country or our police, but bad when it’s used to protect our children in our schools?” he asked, segueing into one of the all-time creepiest assertions the NRA has ever made. “They’re our kids. They’re our responsibility. And it’s not just our duty to protect them, it’s our right to protect them.”
And that right there is what’s most ominous and alarming about the NRA’s defiantly more, more, more attitude. It arrogantly believes that it’s entitled to it. And it calls upon a nation of educators and parents to “draw upon every resource that’s out there and available to erect a cordon of protection around our kids right now.”
That’s a great idea, because prevented the 1999 massacre there. The military personnel assured the lives and safety of everyone involved in the spree there, ten years later. The last summer didn’t lead to a single bystander casualty. And when former Congressman Asa Hutchinson announced he would be leading a National Model School Shield Program that “will make use of local volunteers serving in their own communities,” I’m sure that self-appointed, who shot and killed unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin earlier this year, would have approved. Who wouldn’t want some marginally employed parent with a deadly weapon patrolling around during their children’s recess?
This is a watershed moment in America’s lifelong relationship with guns, a moment when we are looking deeply at ourselves and how broadly we have interpreted the Second Amendment. What’s at stake is the well-being of every individual who runs the risk of one day coming into the path of a bullet. But what’s also up for grabs is our national understanding of what makes truly safe and free. What’s possible, if we let it happen, is the chance not to “cordon” off our kids but engage them, to move on from a place not of finger-on-the-trigger fear but of hope.
LaPierre and the NRA, sticking with their tightly clung-to official script, can’t even envision an environment where fewer guns make us stronger, where our security and that of our children comes from a place of less and not more. They can’t understand that an escalation of arms and a peaceful society are oppositional concepts. And they refuse to acknowledge the near daily reality that can make . They don’t want to hear it, because they don’t want to believe it. They’re scared of the possibility that Sandy Hook has changed us, just enough, to change the alarming ease with which we now arm ourselves. And they’re terrified we’re going to mess with what they believe is their constitutional “right” not to their guns but our children. Near the end of his press conference today, LaPierre said, “I indicated at the outset, this is the beginning of a serious conversation.” Then he added, with absolutely no sense of irony, “We won’t be taking questions today.”
- NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre Called For Armed Police At School (americanlivewire.com)
- NRA CEO Refutes Bob Costas, Says Kasandra Perkins Needed A Gun To Defend Against Jovan Belcher (huffingtonpost.com)
- NRA president suggests Jovan Belcher’s girlfriend should’ve been armed (rawstory.com)
- NRA blames media, urges armed guards for school (fsn.typepad.com)
- Protesters blocked from delivering petitions to NRA (salon.com)
- ‘Kill yourselves, NRA’: Death threats, calls for suicide abound after NRA presser (maddmedic.wordpress.com)
- NRA’s Solution – Cops in Every School (embattledfarmers.wordpress.com)
- NRA Calls For Armed Police Officer In Every School (keyetv.com)
- NRA calls for armed police officer in every school (wfmz.com)
- NRA press conference calls for more guns in school (deathandtaxesmag.com)
Federal Government Declares Donald Trump’s Hair A “Disaster Area”
November 2, 2012
The Obama Administration has, at the urging of New Jersey governor Chris Christie, officially declared Donald Trump’s hair a disaster area. Usually this sort of declaration must involve a committee and lengthy reviews, but based on the severity of the situation, both President Obama and Governor Christie agreed that they needed to put away their political differences and address the situation.
“The thing was bad enough as it was. But after Hurricane Sandy came through, there is just absolute devastation right there, ” said Christie. “I must commend President Obama for taking swift action so that something can be done immediately about that thing. I know there are a lot of amazing products on the market for this kind of clean up, but I think we’re going to need something from NASA maybe.”
“Governor Christie did the right thing contacting us about the designation, ” added Obama. “People could see something like that and there could be mass hysteria. We can’t afford that kind of panic right now. We have the best people immediately looking to tackle this thing before anyone else gets hurt.”
Additional requests have been made to declare the area below the hair and between the ears a disaster area as well. Further details as the story unfolds.
- Christie praises Obama, says he’s ‘not interested’ in surveying disaster area with Romney (tv.msnbc.com)
- Mark Cuban To Donald Trump: I’ll Give You $1M To Shave That Thing On Your Head (joemygod.blogspot.com)
- Chris Christie Praises Obama’s Hurricane Sandy Response, Scoffs Idea Of Mitt Romney NJ Visit (mediaite.com)
- Mark Cuban Promises $1 Million for Charity if Donald Trump Shaves Head (Video) (nesn.com)
- Donald Trump’s ‘Big’ Announcement About Obama (newsfeed.time.com)
- NJ Gov. Christie Praises Obama’s Response to Hurricane Sandy: “Outstanding” (littlegreenfootballs.com)
- Mark Cuban’s $1 Million Challenge: Donald Trump, You Game? (huffingtonpost.com)
- Mark Cuban offers Donald Trump one million dollars for charity to shave his head (offthebench.nbcsports.com)
- President Obama Declares Westchester, Rockland Counties A Major Disaster Area Due To Sandy (newyork.cbslocal.com)
- Cartoon: Obama Comforts Storm Victim (englishblog.com)
For all the talk about Americans wanting the election to be over, Bill Maher says he doesn’t want it to end.
“New rule: Stop telling me you want this election to be over,” the host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” said on his program Friday. “This one has been like watching Donald Trump losing a hockey fight. I know it has to end, I just don’t want it to.”
And with just days to go until Tuesday, Maher said Mitt Romney has shifted so far to the center since the Republican primaries that he might end up an entirely different person.
“By Tuesday he’ll be insisting that he’s always been a staunchly pro-gay Unitarian, who hates corporations, is proud of his Latino heritage and doesn’t want old white men telling him what he can’t do with his vagina,” Maher joked.
That’s could be in part because Romney is not human, Maher explained.
“2012 might be the one election where one candidate was suspected of not being born in America and the other was suspected of not being born on Earth,” Maher said.
He concluded: “If it’s Obama, America wins. If it’s Romney, comedy wins.”
- Bill Maher Warns Romney Supporters: ‘Black People Know Who You Are and They Will Come After You’ (newsbusters.org)
- Maher: ‘If It’s Obama, America Wins. If It’s Romney, Comedy Wins.’ (huffingtonpost.com)
- Outrageous!… Bill Maher to Romney Voters: “Black People Know Who You Are and They Will Come After You” (Video) (thegatewaypundit.com)
- Bill Maher: By Tuesday, Romney will be insisting he, ‘doesn’t want old white men telling him what he can’t do with his vagina.’ (politicususa.com)
- Bill Maher Warns Voters: If You Elect Romney, ‘You’re Electing Every Right Wing Nut He’s Pandered To’ (mediaite.com)
- Maher pans Fox News ‘bias alert’ (politico.com)
- Three Days Ahead Of Election, Candidates Tied Reuters Finds; Bill Maher Jokes (zerohedge.com)
- Maher: If ‘shameless weather vane’ Romney wins, ‘comedy wins’ (rawstory.com)
- Bill Maher Recaps The Highs, The Lows, And The Empty Chairs Of The 2012 Campaign (mediaite.com)
- Maher: Mitt would be a freakshow (politico.com)
Idiot’s DelightBy TIMOTHY EGAN
You’re an undecided voter. Your time is up. The rest of us are sick of pretending to care about you, saying nice things to you, doing your damn laundry.
Decide, O.K.? When the choice was between Scrooge McDuck and the Kenyan Socialist, you couldn’t make up your mind. Now that you know it’s between two Harvard know-it-alls, with clear, divergent views of government, you’re waiting for — what? The long-lost Mormon tablets to reappear? Donald Trump to reveal what his phantom investigators found among the birth records in Hawaii?
No, of course not. To your credit, you don’t take your talking points from the toxic menu of far-right radio nor from the conspiracy theorists of the paranoid left. But that’s the only nice thing I’m going to say about you.
You’re not Solomon, carefully weighing the choices. You’re a ditherer. You probably panic at “paper or plastic” in the supermarket, backing up the checkout line. We know all about you, because the campaigns have spent millions studying you, probing you, stuffing you with those little sausage things. Your every emotion is wired and registered.
And here’s what we know: there aren’t that many of you, not compared with past years. In 2008, 1 in 7 voters was persuadable at one time. This year it is closer to 1 in 20 — about 5 percent. And in your hands, the savants of politics say, rests the future of the republic.
But here’s the thing: while we’re paying so much attention to you, you’re not paying that much attention to known facts about the two men who want to lead the United States. You barely keep up on the news. If you’d been paying attention, of course, you wouldn’t be undecided.
You, most likely, were not among the millions of Americans who watched the first presidential debate. Of all voters, the undecided were the least interested in the debates, a Washington Post poll found last week.
So, here’s what you missed, or may have heard something about today: Mitt Romney wants to fire Big Bird. He’s got a plan, mostly secret, to restore America to fiscal sanity. But first, he wants to cut taxes by 20 percent. Ultimately, that will cost $5 trillion. At the same time, he wants to add things to the defense budget. And none of this will add a penny to the debt.
A third grader could tell you that his numbers don’t add up. Go ahead, ask a third grader. Romney knows it doesn’t add up, so he’s not specific. Oh, except for Big Bird — no more subsidies for PBS, you monotoned moochers. That’s 0.00014 percent of the budget.
I forgot: you hate policy-wonk stuff, so those numbers are not likely to move you. Then listen to your heart — the one that may stop beating earlier than you think, if you have a pre-existing condition. Romney vows to throw out Obamacare, which will cover that condition. But he says his plan would cover it as well. That’s true, but only if you live in a state, like Massachusetts, that already has Obamacare. Otherwise, in all truth, you’re toast. He said so earlier this month, when he explained that the millions of Americans who would lose health care once he kills it can always go the hospital emergency room.
Maybe you just want an overarching philosophy. Romney’s slogan is “Believe in America” (as opposed to, say, Lichtenstein). He summarized his view Wednesday night: “I’ll restore the vitality that gets America working again.” You would think he has some fiscal Viagra in mind, but again — no specifics.
On to Obama. He saved the auto industry; the recovery in Michigan and Ohio was not an accident. You didn’t like the stimulus because, like, where’s my bailout, dude? But the unemployment rate would be 10 percent, not 8, without the stimulus. Whatever. You don’t know about any of this because Obama never brought it home on Wednesday, and therefore it will not be part of the distant chatter that will find its way into your orbit over the next few days.
Obama’s opponent thinks that nearly half of all Americans — many among you — are deadbeats and victims. Obama didn’t bring this up, either, and Romney certainly wasn’t going to.
For philosophy, Obama gave you this: “Are we going to double down on the top-down economic policies that helped to get us into this mess, or do we embrace a new economic patriotism that says America does best when the middle class does best.”
There you have it — a clear choice, as everyone keeps telling you. But still, you’re not sure. You say you don’t like either of them. Romney’s too snooty and just plain weird. Obama’s too professorial and goes on, and on, and on. You say they’re corrupt, all politicians. You say there’s no difference between the parties. You’re wrong, but we’re not supposed to tell you that.
The headline of an Associated Press story on you was typical: “Many Watch Debate; Some Are Pleased, Few Are Moved.” After the debate, a CNN focus group of your type found that eight of you were now leaning toward Romney, and eight of you were coming over to the Obama side. No real movement, in other words.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret, after many years of sitting with you during past presidential debates: we don’t like you. Not because you can’t make up your mind, but because you won’t.
- Idiot’s Delight (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Romney’s Sick Joke – NYTimes.com (mbcalyn.com)
- 7 Best Jokes About Romney’s Threat to Off Big Bird | Alternet (mbcalyn.com)
- Entering Stage Right, Romney Moved to Center – NYTimes.com (mbcalyn.com)
- Mitt Romney’s Big Bird Attack Threatens Thousands Of U.S. Jobs (mbcalyn.com)
- You do not mess with Big Bird – Salon.com (mbcalyn.com)
- Early Morning Open Thread: The Opinionators Are Starting to Snap (balloon-juice.com)
- Mitt Romney vows to fire Big Bird to save 0.00014% of the budget (dailykos.com)
- Thoughts on “Big Bird” and Mitt Romney Meme — Why the Media Sucks (futuretwit.com)
- An Unhelpful Presidential Debate – NYTimes.com (mbcalyn.com)
Welcome to Hootersville
Updated: August 26, 2012 | 10:29 p.m.
August 26, 2012 | 8:08 p.m.
(PRNEWSFOTO/AMERICA’S THREE BLIND MICE, INC.)
I don’t know why anybody thought it was a good idea to hold a presidential nominating convention in. This state has a terrible track record with presidential politics. Does anybody remember 2000? That was the year when the presidential election was decided by Florida residents who were deeply confused about which holes to punch in a ballot. This is not surprising: Florida residents are also deeply confused about what lane they’re driving in, or what, specifically, they’re supposed to do when the traffic light changes color.
So this is the last place where anybody should attempt to nominate somebody for president. Nevertheless as I write these words, Tampa is the site of a massive convention gathering featuring thousands of delegates, party leaders, media people, protesters, hookers, random lunatics, and Donald Trump.
Until the weekend, Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden had also been planning to come; apparently he was unaware that this is the Republican convention. He changed his mind after a meeting with his top aides that may or may not have involved tranquilizer darts.
But there is still a lot of excitement in the air, as well as wind gusts upwards of 50 miles per hour, as Potential Hurricane Isaac makes its way up the Florida coast, posing a serious threat to the estimated 11 million local TV news reporters standing on the beach in matching rain slickers warning everybody to stay the hell off the beach. Isaac has already affected the convention: On Monday night, instead of the planned schedule, the Republicans are planning to hold a very brief session, at which they will nominate Mitt Romney and . Then they will declare the convention over, and everybody will go home.
No, that would be way too sane. Instead there will be three more days of speeches by every major Republican figure in the nation, living or dead. The goal will be to demonstrate to the nationwide convention-viewing TV audience—an estimated eight people—that Mitt is a regular non-android human just like you who feels pain the same way any normal person does when one of his helicopters needs repair.
The Republicans will also try to show that Paul Ryan is a nice young man who does not, as the Democrats have been suggesting, want to legalize hunting for senior citizens with crossbows. This is especially important here in Florida, because this is a swing state whose voters could decide the election—assuming they can figure out where their polling places are, which, as I noted earlier, is not a given.
While all this is going on inside the convention, there will be plenty of action outside in the streets, where thousands of protesters are planning to exercise their constitutional right to annoy pretty much everybody who is not one of them. On top of all that, there is the relentless approach of Isaac, which could have a major impact on the American economy, because Tampa is home to an estimated 40 percent of the nation’s strategic reserve of strip clubs.
I am not suggesting for one second that Tampa is some kind of cultural backwater. Tampa is a major city boasting a wide array of things, as evidenced by this list of Five Fascinating Facts About Tampa:
1. Tampa boasts the world’s longest continuous sidewalk.
2. The Hooters restaurant chain originated here in 1983.
3. OK, if you want to get technical, Hooters actually originated in Clearwater.
4. I only included Hooters because we have pretty much exhausted the fascinating facts about Tampa.
5. Seriously, though, it’s a really long sidewalk.
Also, according to a story I read in the Times Magazine, there’s a monkey that has been running around the Tampa area for more than three years now evading capture. The article says that the monkey, known as the Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay, is hugely popular here; it has a blog, on which it announced in 2010 that it was running for mayor. Unfortunately, because of some legal technicality, it did not win.
But the big story, at the moment, is Isaac. The convention planners have done all they can to prepare; National Guard troops have brought in 65,000 pounds of shrimp cocktail—enough, at normal rates of delegate consumption, to last nearly two days. But still there is concern. The worst-case scenario is that Isaac will develop into a major hurricane, veer eastward toward Tampa and—this is the ultimate public-safety nightmare—get hold of Donald Trump’s hairstyle. If that thing gets airborne in the community, nobody is safe.
Despite the personal danger, I’ll be on the scene here, providing you with daily reports. Hotel space is very tight, so I wound up in a place that is next door to—I am not making this up—a strip club.
When I was checking in, a guest was asking the front-desk clerk if something could be done about the cockroaches in his room. “They’re big,” he said. “They fight back.”
So you can imagine how very excited I am to be here, at this exciting time, in this exciting city. With its exciting sidewalk.
- Quote of the Day – Dave Barry on Computers (schnik.it)
- Deputies: Florida woman, adult son stole $2M in toys (miamiherald.com)
- Six fundamental forces (Dave Barry via Mark Sackler) (timpanogos.wordpress.com)
- Hurricane Isaac Might Rain on the Republican National Convention (theatlanticwire.com)
- See full details of former Zeeland Superintendent Dave Barry’s separation agreement, his letter to school board (mlive.com)
- Dave Barry gets busy (jimromenesko.com)
- Dave Barry: I did my part to help lighten worker’s load (miamiherald.com)
- Dave Barry: It’s easy to get distracted from Olympic archery (miamiherald.com)
- Dave Barry on Beauty (atotalwasteofmakeupblog.com)
- Consultant Offers GOP Convention Alternative (rollcall.com)
Romney’s risky ties to Trump
The appearance is further evidence of one of the oddest flirtations in American politics. Trump and Mitt Romney appeared together at a Las Vegas fundraiser in May. The Romney campaign raffled off a meal with the pair as a reward for campaign donors.
Romney supporters tend to be perplexed by his ties to Trump but dismissive of their importance. No one is likely to confuse the members of a couple this odd. On the plus side, this connection may help unbutton Romney’s public image. Add a little pop culture sizzle. Bring in some extra cash.
All of these justifications would make sense if we were talking about Kim Kardashian, who is famous merely for her fame. But Trump is also famous for spreading conspiracy theories. He is the nation’s highest-profile “birther,” who sent investigators to Hawaii to uncover proof of Obama’s duplicity. Finding none, he moved on to the sinister mystery of the president’s unreleased college transcripts. Turning his attention from politics to medicine, he has asserted that multiple vaccinations cause babies to be “different,” based on this evidence: “I’ve known cases.” When informed that most physicians disagree, he responded: “I know they do. . . . I couldn’t care less.”
Set aside that vaccine skepticism is the medical equivalent of encouraging children to play in traffic. Trump represents not merely wealth and brashness but an attitude toward authority and knowledge. He has developed a standing among some populist conservatives by arguing that mainstream information is fundamentally biased, that public officials are engaged in elaborate deceptions, and that only a courageous few can understand and uncover the alarming reality. Politics, in this view, is not the contest of ideas; it is the exposure of a plot. It matters little if hard evidence is nonexistent; that is taken as further evidence of the plotters’ diabolical sophistication.
This isn’t new in American history, but that doesn’t make it less damaging. In “Voodoo Histories,” an entertaining demolition of modern conspiracy theories, David Aaronovitch argues that tolerance for conspiracy thinking amounts to a kind of “relativism,” which “doesn’t care to distinguish between the scholarly and the slapdash, the committed researcher and the careless loudmouth, the scrupulous and the demagogic.” Everyone becomes entitled to their own “alternative narratives,” at the expense of rationality, earned authority and objectivity. And conspiratorial narratives are often divisive and disturbing.
That is certainly true of presidential conspiracy theories — that Bill Clinton ordered a series of murders, or that George W. Bush was complicit in the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, or that Obama illegally holds the presidency through deception. These charges are designed to delegitimize presidents. Instead of being opponents with different views, they become aliens or oppressors, unworthy of power and respect.
This brings the fracturing of America to a new level. It is more difficult to unite people following an election when a significant portion of political activists, based on the finest Internet sources, are convinced that a president is a fraud or a monster. Once the narrative of conspiracy is accepted, unity becomes a vice. Divisions and contempt become permanent.
A few official campaign appearances by Trump do not imply a full embrace of birtherism by Romney or the Republican Party. But it is not healthy to take even a little bit of this hemlock. Trump’s appearance at the Republican convention represents a disturbing tolerance for disturbing ideas. What does it say about the modern GOP that the leading advocate of the theory that Obama is Kenyan is on the convention schedule, while the leading advocate of , say, mainstream climate science would risk being booed off the stage?
And there is a cost to Romney himself. The mainstreaming of Trumpism, in a small but significant way, undermines the authority and standing of the office Romney seeks and further divides the nation he hopes to govern. And if Romney uses part of his convention speech to confront the Obama campaign’s relentless negativity and nastiness — which he should — his opponents will have a simple riposte: Your convention had Donald Trump.
- Gibbs blasts Romney for using ‘right-wing nut jobs’ like Trump (rawstory.com)
- Donald Trump has big convention surprise planned apparently (salon.com)
- Gibbs: Romney Can’t Criticize Obama Tone When Supported By ‘Right-Wing Nutjob Donald Trump’ (mediaite.com)
- Trump gets ‘surprise’ convention role (politico.com)
- Gibbs smacks ‘birther-in-chief’ Trump (wnd.com)
- Donald Trump says RNC wants him as a speaker (tbo.com)
- Donald Trump to Have Republican National Convention Role (towleroad.com)
- Gibbs blasts Romney for using ‘right-wing nut jobs’ like Trump (itmakessenseblog.com)
- TRENDING: Trump will have ‘memorable’ role at GOP convention, aide says (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
- Donald Trump’s ‘Big Surprise’ for Republican National Convention is Unspeakably Lame [Election 2012] (gawker.com)
The charm of Sarah Palin as a vice presidential pick is she set the bar incredibly low for her successors. As long as a nominee can name a newspaper and their foreign policy experience isn’t living next to a foreign country, the press can dub them better than Sarah Palin. More qualified. More gravitas. More ready to lead than Palin was…
Taylor Jones / PoliticalCartoons.com
A Palin standard for being fit for public office is like a Donald Trump standard for public humility. Basically, no standard at all.
It’s really not fair to compare Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin. Sure it makes Ryan as a VP nominee seem less cynical——less Hail Mary——less desperate than if Palin had never word-souped the nation four years ago. If John McCain would have picked Tim Pawlenty in ’08, the Ryan pick would look pretty irresponsible. But now the GOP has the “Palin Standard.”
A better comparison for Paul Ryan is former Republican presidential candidate Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. Both are from mid-western cheese-heavy states. Both are high-profile tea party Republicans in the lowest-rated Congress in the history of percentages. Even when Bachmann is causing international incidents with her xenophobic race baiting about the Muslim Brotherhood’s alleged infiltration of the U.S. government——she sounds as pleasant as someone selling orange juice on television.
If the 1980′s Michael J. Fox sit-com character——the beloved Reagan-idolizing Alex P. Keaton——were a self-hating public employee who cherry-picked all the worst parts of Ayn Rand, the Bible and the Heritage Foundation’s reading room, he’d be Paul Ryan! Quirky, young and clearly trying to fill a larger man’s suit——the rightest of Republicans love Paul Ryan.
Well they kind of love him. Both Paul Ryan and Michele Bachmann are guilty pleasures for Republicans. They like listening to them beat up on President Obama and spout their cheery condemnations of liberalism, but they don’t want to admit it too loudly lest they get stuck defending ALL their ideas. Bachmann won the Iowa straw poll but now she’s not even invited to introduce anyone, let alone speak, at the upcoming Republican National Convention.
Obama tried to campaign against the Ryan Budget plan this past spring since the House GOP voted for it, but that was declared out-of-bounds. Now? It’s in play and Republican politicians are not thrilled about explaining their vote to give future senior citizens coupons for chemotherapy.
Bachmann and Ryan also share the distinction of being ineffective lawmakers. According to ThatsMyCongress.com, in her nearly six years in office “Bachmann has passed three rhetorical bills with no force of law, and one amendment that asks an Inspector General to conduct inspections.” Paul Ryan has been an incumbent for twice that time and has only introduced two bills that have become law: One renaming a post office in his home town, the other changing how arrows are taxed (how very 21st century).
Bachmann at least gets to distance herself from the Republican Congressional blank check given to the big-spending Bush administration. Under Ryan’s allegedly hawkish eye, his party started two unpaid-for wars, cut taxes during said wars, grew the government, exploded the national debt and then bailed out unregulated banks with taxpayer money. Paul Ryan voted yes for all of it and doesn’t ask for a correction when he’s called a small government conservative.
Both Bachmann and Ryan are also at the extreme end of the spectrum when it comes to gay rights and reproductive freedoms. They both have consistently voted for any anti-abortion/anti-contraception bills that came before them. Ditto with expanding martial rights to same sex couples. Ryan, with all his libertarian billing, has voted to take away liberties from his fellow citizens. He is the government he’s warned us about: Freedom is for corporations, and regulations are for our private lives.
If Ryan is now the Republican mainstream, Bachmann is now the Republican mainstream. If Ryan is getting the full embrace of his party——Bachmann should be getting that same welcome into the fray.
Or in the case of Republicans in 2012, the fringe.
- Stop Comparing Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin (Guest Voice) (themoderatevoice.com)
- Tina Dupuy | Stop Comparing Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin (yubanet.com)
- Sarah Palin won’t speak at GOP convention (newsday.com)
- The National Memo ” Five Reasons Paul Ryan Is Already a Worse VP Choice Than Sarah Palin (tribuneofthepeople.com)
- Lessons Learned: The TEA party, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann (guardianlv.com)
- Bill Maher on Paul Ryan’s smarts: Name something he and Sarah Palin disagree on (theblaze.com)
- GOP strategist calls Ryan “Sarah Palin with a PowerPoint presentation” (americablog.com)
- Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann Wedding Officiated By Obama Billboard Banned (ontopmag.com)
- Sarah Palin won’t speak at 2012 GOP convention (cbsnews.com)
- Be Wary of Reports of Ryan Rally (theamericanconservative.com)
Romney campaign tripped by Biden’s ‘chains’
So much for the selection of Paul Ryan as the veep nominee as the end of the petty bickering and the start of the campaign of “big ideas.”Romney campaign spokeswoman Andrea Saul claims that “President Obama’s campaign keeps sinking lower.” What was the offense? Vice President Biden said the word “chains.”
In tone and bite, Biden is to the Obama campaign what John Sununu is to the Romney campaign. Only the vice president is polished and likeable. Biden was speaking at a Virginia rally that the Associated Press reports “included hundreds of black people,” and he warned the assembled that Romney wanted to do away with the post-2008 regulations on Wall Street. “Unchain Wall Street,” Biden said. “They’re going to put y’all back in chains.” Yeah, that was wince-worthy. It shall join all the others on the Biden blooper reel. But the high dudgeon of the Romney campaign is rather precious.
This is the campaign that seemed perfectly fine with Sununu saying he wished the president “would learn to be an American.”
This is the campaign that continues to be a-okay with supporter Donald Trump’s racist birtherism.
This is the campaign that has been mute in the face of Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) hyperbolic assertion that Obama would “rather you be his slave.”
This is the campaign that is allowing Newt Gingrich to host “Newt University” at the Tampa convention this month. The former House speaker is fond of calling Obama a “food stamp president.”A wicked phrase that has more racial baggage than a klansman’s El Camino.
This is the campaign of the candidate who uttered the equally racially fraught “if they want more stuff from government … more free stuff”when talking to supporters in Montana about what he told the NAACP about his desire to repeal Obamacare.
This is the campaign that is running a completely dishonest ad about the Obama administration’s welfare policy. “Under Obama’s plan, you wouldn’t have to work and you wouldn’t have to train for a job. They just send you your welfare check,” the narrator says before the obligatory“I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message” sign-off.
And, by the way, this is the campaign of the candidate who could only muster, “[I]t’s not the language I would have used” after Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a “slut,” a “prostitute” and much worse on his radio show. Her offense? Testifying before Congress in favor of employer coverage of birth control in health-care plans.
So, rather than rail against what they claim is Obama’s “desperate campaign based on division and demonization,” the Romney campaign and Romney himself ought to spend more time cleaning up the garbage littering their glass house.
- The Faux Outrage Over Biden’s ‘Chains’ Quote (theroot.com)
- Jonathan Capehart Gives Joe Scarborough Brief History Of GOP Campaign Of Hate (mediaite.com)
- Romney camp blasts Biden for ‘chains’ remark, calls it a ‘new low’ (thehill.com)
- Obama: No apologies, no scolding for Biden’s ‘back in chains’ remark – @peoplemag (people.com)
- Biden Responds to Romney Campaign: GOP Policies ‘Outrageous’ (crooksandliars.com)
- Former Obama campaign co-chair: Biden’s remarks ‘racial viciousness’ (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
- Romney camp seizes on Biden comment on ‘chains’ (kansascity.com)
- Joe Biden Threatens Republicans Will Put You in Chains (theatlanticwire.com)
- Joe Biden was right (salon.com)
- JOHN KASS ON JOE BIDEN’S MINSTREL SHOW: Biden took a race card from the deck of Team Obama 2012, … (pjmedia.com)
Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day
The multibillionaire stares at his aging, deteriorating form in the mirror.
NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom’s full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan’s Trump Tower to start the day.
According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.
“God, look at this thing,” said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. “Pitiful.”
Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.
Sources say Trump sat on his bed and lightly shook his head for a full five minutes.
At this point, Trump is purported to have released the heavily crinkled pouch and sighed deeply.
“What the hell happened?” said Trump, who appeared to receive no reassurance by swiveling and viewing his shrunken penis in profile. “It’s just…dead.”
Sources confirmed Trump then received a phone call from an Associated Press reporter asking him to respond to charges that he was a “blowhard” and a “bully,” allegations Trump managed to address despite his preoccupation with the condition of his sexual organ.
“I’m rich and famous, and everyone wants to be me,” Trump told the caller, all the while struggling to recall the last time he was able to achieve even a partial erection. “That doesn’t make me a bully. That just makes me better than most people.”
“There’s never been a success story like mine in the history of America,” continued Trump, who briefly tipped the phone away from his mouth as he licked his palm and began tugging on his penis with a loose fist. “I’m a phenomenon, and I don’t care who knows it—of course, everyone already does.”
Upon disconnecting, Trump continued to stroke vigorously for three full minutes before giving up in exhaustion.
Shortly thereafter, Trump reportedly turned his attention to the remainder of his body, miserably noting in his reflection the complete absence of muscle tone in his arms, the vast network of wrinkles on his face that showed through despite a freshly applied layer of bronzer, and the loose flesh on his neck, which he pulled taut several times with his thumbs. According to sources, Trump then attempted to shake free of his melancholy by rising to his toes in a boxing stance and pantomiming a series of punch combinations, an effort that quickly embarrassed him and intensified his gloom.
“Sixty-six years old,” said Trump, who has an estimated fortune of $2.9 billion. “What’s 70 going to look like? And 75? What the hell am I gonna do then?”
Gazing over at the clothes neatly laid out on his bed, Trump added, “Goddamn it.”
- Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day (theonion.com)
- New From Donald Trump: Nail Polish (bellasugar.com)
- Turbines won’t put golfers off, says Jack Nicklaus (scotsman.com)
- Donald Trump’s Uncertainty Principle (slog.thestranger.com)
- Gloria Allred Responds To Donald Trump: ‘The World Does Not Revolve Around His Penis’ (mediaite.com)
- The Donald Trump Insult Quiz (thedailybeast.com)
- Donald Trump: My Penis Would Impress Gloria Allred! (perezhilton.com)
- Donald Trump Has Fired Patricia Kluge From Her VA Winery; Cliconomics Announces Guide To Help You Build Wealth Like A Trump (prweb.com)
- Donald Trump to Sue Miss Pennsylvania (celebs.gather.com)
- Donald Trump rages in CNN meltdown over Obama ‘birther’ issue (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
Obama mocks Romney for dog on roof incident
You Can’t Win if You Don’t Pay
Published: June 27, 2012
Give a few dollars to President Obama or Mitt Romney, the e-mail messages say, and you have a shot at sitting next to them for dinner. You could shake hands with George Clooney at a presidential fund-raiser. You might win a lunch with Mr. Romney and Donald Trump and a tour of “The Celebrity Apprentice” boardroom.
But don’t kid yourself about your newly won influence. The real action is taking place in Manhattan town houses or wooded corporate retreats for people who gave far, far more. Write a big enough check, or persuade enough others to do so, and you don’t have to take your chances that a raffle will get you access to the candidates and their aides. You don’t have to sit in the back of the tent like the two winners of the Clooney raffle last month. You won’t have to settle for Mr. Trump, the Romney campaign’s condescending scrap for small donors.
Instead, you’ll be guaranteed a seat at a table with people who will affect your industry or will shape the tax code or trade policy or banking regulation.
The full smorgasbord of true access was laid out last week at a three-day retreat in Park City, Utah, for the biggest donors to the Romney campaign. As Michael Barbaro reported in The Times, Mitt and Ann Romney and at least 15 senior campaign aides mingled with hundreds of wealthy guests. Condoleezza Rice, Karl Rove and Jeb Bush led seminars.
There were golf outings, and a “victory tea” with Mrs. Romney for women. Several politicians mentioned as possible vice-presidential candidates were mobbed, as was Mr. Rove, who thrilled a group of financial executives with a few minutes of his time. “That’s the price of admission right there,” one donor said. “Your six minutes with Rove.”
The exact admission price was a $50,000 contribution to the Romney Victory Fund, which will be divided among the campaign, the Republican National Committee and several state Republican parties. (These combined “victory fund” donations, which the Obama campaign also uses, are a way for donors to get around the $5,000 limit for individual campaigns. That’s just not enough to show you really care.) Another way to have gotten into the retreat was to have raised $100,000.
The Obama campaign has done much of the same. Nearly four dozen “bundlers,” or people who solicit checks from others, were invited to a state dinner for Prime Minister David Cameron of Britain; two were seated at the head table. Scores of others get to go to White House meetings. Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue (and a bundler), recentlymoderated a discussion between the president and 50 donors who paid $40,000 apiece.
There are big differences between the campaigns, however. Mr. Obama has disclosed his bundlers; Mr. Romney, breaking with standard practice, has refused. He is outraising the president by relying on big donors — only 11 percent of his total has come from contributions of $200 or less. Such small donations have made up 41 percent of Mr. Obama’s total.
Dinner with a lucky grass-roots supporter creates the illusion of populism. But it can’t hide the sleazy commerce going on behind expensive doors.
- Mitt Romney rewards donors at Utah retreat – Ginger Gibson – POLITICO.com (tribuneofthepeople.com)
- Romney hobnobs with mega-donors – The Seattle Times (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- At Romney Retreat, Campaign Donors Ready to Charge (abcnews.go.com)
- Condoleezza Rice to raise cash for GOP women (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
- Condoleezza Rice for VP? It’s so not happening. – Washington Post (blog) (washingtonpost.com)
- You: Major Romney donors rewarded at lavish Utah retreat (latimes.com)
- Access For Sale! GOP $500K Donors Get To Rub Elbows With Mittens And Party Elite (crooksandliars.com)
- You can win dinner with Romney and Trump (seattlepi.com)
- Searching for Mitt Romney (abc4.com)
- Romney’s Great Utah Adventure (abcnews.go.com)