Archive for category Humor/Parody
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Antartian got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard; she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snowplow went by and she started to follow it. As she follows the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy’s advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.
Little Johnny and a friend were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. “What’s it for?’ his friend asked. “I don’t know,” little Johnny replied. “I think you stand on it and it makes you mad. At least it does that for my Mom and Dad.”
Noah’s Ark Park in Danger of Sinking
FEEL LIKE BUYING $29M IN UNRATED MUNICIPAL BONDS?
By Arden Dier, Newser Staff
Posted Jan 7, 2014 8:43 AM CST
Mike Zovath, co-founder of Answers in Genesis ministries, poses for photos at the Ark Encounter headquarters in Hebron, Ky. (AP Photo/Dylan Lovan)
(NEWSER) – A Noah’s Ark theme park set to break ground in Kentucky in March could soon be crushed—not by a mountain of water, but by a lack of investor interest, Bloomberg reports. Building a full-scale ark replica at the biblical Ark Encounter park—set to open in April 2016—is no cheap feat, and though $26.5 million in unrated municipal bonds have been sold, investors need to buy up $29 million more by next month or the project will sink. And with numerous risks—the nonprofit behind the park is not required to pay back the debt, for instance—recruiting buyers has been a tough job.
“We still need those Ark supporters who weren’t able to purchase the Ark bonds at closing to prayerfully consider participating in a secondary bond delivery at the level they had indicated to us,” said the president of been beyond our control.” WBAA notes that the bond issue isn’t its first struggle: Delays have dogged the project, which was originally supposed to be up and running in early 2014 (which would allow it to access $37 million in tax incentives); current estimates have that opening date now set at 2016.the Christian group, Answers in Genesis, adding, “The associated complications and struggles have been beyond our control.” WBAA notes that the bond issue isn’t its first struggle: Delays have dogged the project, which was originally supposed to be up and running in early 2014 (which would allow it to access $37 million in tax incentives); current estimates have that opening date now set at 2016.
Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.” The next day, the pastor was over at Emily’s family’s house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”