Ye Olde Soapbox

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Republican Presidential choice Mitt Romney shocked the political world today by releasing a picture of his choice for Vice-President—a man who, political insiders admit, was on nobody’s short or long list.

The photo shows Mr. Romney’s Veep pick, whose face was immediately recognizable to millions of Americans, wearing his trademark top hat and carrying what appears to be a moneybag, with currency of various denominations trailing behind him.

The Romney campaign issued scant information about the source of his running mate’s wealth, saying only that he had made his money “in real estate” and would not be releasing his tax returns.

Davis Logsdon, a political scientist who studies the history of Vice-Presidential selection at the University of Minnesota, called the choice of running mate who might be even wealthier than Mr. Romney “baffling beyond words.”

“Is Mitt Romney really going to share the stage at the Republican convention in Tampa with a man clutching a bulging sack with a big dollar sign on it?” Mr. Logsdon asked. “Those are terrible optics.”

Moreover, he added, Mr. Romney’s Vice-Presidential choice has political baggage that could prove problematic going forward: “We’re talking about someone who has gotten out of jail multiple times.”

The Romney campaign may have released the picture to distract attention from yesterday’s controversial comment by 2008 G.O.P. nominee John McCain, who said that he passed on Mr. Romney as his V.P. pick because Alaska governor Sarah Palin was a “better candidate.”

Today, Senator McCain attempted to explain his remark: “Romney had all his money hidden in Switzerland. Sarah Palin was better because she had never heard of Switzerland.”

Image courtesy Hasbro.