Ye Olde Soapbox

U.S. Facing Helium Shortage

JUNE 25, 2012  

With its helium reserves rapidly depleting, the United States faces a shortage expected to have a detrimental effect on certain sectors of the economy. What do you think?

Ah, the hell with balloons anyway. They were useless for getting me well soon.

Jerry Faulk
Lifeguard

Greetings, earthling. We come in peace. See? Not as funny without the helium, is it?

Dana Creamer
Systems Analyst

As a dirigible pilot since 1935, I thank God for an excuse to get out of this fucking business.

Gary William
Delineator

 U.S. Facing Helium Shortage | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source | American Voices.

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