POSTED MAY 2, 2012
Romney Pays Surprise Visit to his Money in the Caymans
No Timetable for Withdrawal, Says Presumptive Nominee
CAYMAN ISLANDS (The Borowitz Report) – In an uncharacteristically emotional scene for the presumptive GOP nominee, Mitt Romney today paid a surprise visit to his money in the Cayman Islands.
Speaking in a bank vault surrounded by stacks of cash, Mr. Romney praised his money for “the brave work you have done in the never-ending fight for freedom from Federal income tax.”
“Thanks to your hard work, losers around the world are envious of me,” he added. ”For that I salute you.”
Stressing that his money’s mission in the Caymans was “far from over,” he refused to set any timetable for withdrawal.
In a reference to his bid for the Presidency, Mr. Romney told his money, “It would be an honor and a privilege to have my face on you someday.”
After plunging into the stacks of cash to touch many of the dollar bills individually, Mr. Romney boarded his private jet to pay a surprise visit to Switzerland.
Related articles
- Borowitz Report – Charles Manson Denied Parole (mbcalyn.com)
- Borowitz Report – April Fools (mbcalyn.com)
- Borowitz Report – Bigot Report (mbcalyn.com)
- Romney’s Bain Pal: Rich Should Get Richer (newser.com)
- Borowitz Report – A Clarification from Mitt Romney (mbcalyn.com)
- Borowitz Report – Fact That No One Likes Him May Be Hurting Romney (mbcalyn.com)
- Borowitz Report – Whitney Houston (mbcalyn.com)
- The Borowitz Report (seniorsforademocraticsociety.wordpress.com)
- The Borowitz Report (seniorsforademocraticsociety.wordpress.com)
- In Positive Economic Sign, Republicans Starting to Say Obama Wasn’t Born in US Again ” Borowitz Report (mbcalyn.com)
#1 by shoutabyss on May 2, 2012 - 2:44 PM
Nice find.